Blood stains on the Spotless Mind.

In a deeply distressing as well as shocking incident, two class VIII students shot dead a classmate in a Gurgaon. This incident in Gurgaon school has brought to fore, what most parents had never dreamt of, at least in India. Extent Violence and Aggression in their child’s spotless mind. But does this Aggression have a home address. That is where it all begins.

Violence is not a natural state; it's learned by the young in observing parents and peers. Nor is it the inevitable result of anger or impulse. Violent actions by parents and siblings can aggravate a child's already violent nature. Societal influences help foment violent behavior. The images that populate mass media actually have the longest-lasting impact of all contributors to violence. Prolonged exposure to violent images increases the fear of becoming a victim, desensitizes violence, and heightens the viewer's appetite for similarly engaging in violence.

Adolescents have always had to deal with feeling hurt, ashamed and powerless. In the face of ridicule, they may want revenge. Most of the rampage attacks are not sudden, impulsive acts but the culmination of years of rage, depression and mental illness. Often the failure of families, co-workers and even therapists to deal with warning signs lead to catastrophic consequences.

The bullies and the bullied are the least popular kids in school. But they're very different types - both in attitudes that set them up for rejection and in reactions to it. Most of us do not take bullying very seriously—not even school personnel; a surprising finding given that most bullying takes place in schools. But self confidence is the single best shield against bullying and kids who lack confidence in their standing with peers meet a vicious cycle of victimization. And this confidence is inbred as parents tend to spend more and qualitative time with their children.

I find it interesting; many parents put so little importance on family time. The problem faced by the parents is that they put more pressure on themselves for their children to achieve. Why do we feel that our children must be entertained every second and that we are the ones responsible for the entertainment? As in most relationships, there can be a lot of satisfaction in just being together.

Adults are failing our children. Our smart, well-educated kids, even those in fine suburban schools, don't learn inclusion and kindness. We must practice and model kindness and inclusion. Adults must challenge the assumption that cliques and rejection are part of human nature. Kids are born, then they learn to reject. Instead, they can learn to include.